A Very WHITE Christmas indeed.

And now we have the Senate President who played Saint Nicholas and gave a whopping P30 Million to his fellow Senators. 

If you try to read today’s newspaper,   understanding this bribery issue looming in Senate will not be that easy -- especially for the below average Filipino. It’s unethical, to say the least, but when you talk about endless provisions in the Constitution, the LAW makes it sound legitimate. If you take the side of the politicians, you’d probably be convinced well enough that it’s just part of allocating funds that were left untouched by the office of Noynoy Aquino when he vacated the 24th spot in Senate to assume the highest seat in government. BUT when you take the side of the simple masses, the word BRIBING would definitely take the place of ALLOCATING and what is considered LAWFUL is UNJUST – plain and simple.

Let me tell you a short story that touched my heart in many ways -- Last Christmas, our home help approached me and asked if she could grab a few minutes of my time. Judging from the look on her face, I knew she needed money. I was bracing myself to adjust my already depleted budget and lend her P1,000 just so I can extend much needed help. I thought to myself --“Bahala na. Pasko naman, keribels lang yan.” So the day went by and every time she passed in front of me, I would give her that signal that it’s okay for us to talk. By mid –afternoon, I was sipping coffee with my headphones blasting in my ears when out of nowhere, she tapped me on the shoulder and said “Maam Apple, pwede ko po ba kayong makausap?” I smiled and asked her what the problem was. She was teary-eyed and her voice was trembling. I knew she was trying so hard to muster up every ounce of courage to say how much money she was hoping to ask from me. I didn’t want to prolong her burden so I said “Sige na, Angie. Magkano ba yan para mahusgahan na natin yang problema na yan.” So she looked at me and said “Maam, nahihiya ako pero makikiusap po sana ako sa inyo. Pwede po ba ako makahiram sa inyo ng ONE HUNDRED pesos? Wala na talaga akong mahiraman at kailangan lang po ng anak ko.” I looked at her straight in the eyes and laughed! Naknampoodle naman, Universe! For a mere P100, she was an inch closer to bursting into tears and practically beg! I gave her more than what she asked for and then she said she’d pay me back. Tumatawa ako when I told her “Angie, huwag na. Tumigil ka na sa pag-emote. Sasabunutan kita eh. Pinatagal mo pa. Kapag ganyan, magsasabi agad. Haist!”

With that story in mind, I read every line of the news today with so much disgust in my heart. You have millions of Filipinos fighting to survive. Last Christmas alone, you have thousands of calamity victims who lost their homes and yet, we hear of politicians exchanging monetary gifts as if it came out of their own pockets. And may I say that accepting the questionable amount is just as bad as giving. Imagine -- P1.6 million if you have been good; P250 thousand if you weren’t. MOTHER OF ALL……….how in heaven’s name can you ever accept such injustice? And don’t tell me the Commission on Audit will still review how Senate handled the disbursement of funds. Sick bureaucracy will have the issue buried 100 feet below the ground before any modern Robin Hood dares to expose every damn detail to the general public.

Absolute equality is JUST an IDEA. In real life, it is never really ‘achievable’. In Philippine society, the Jaguars and Benzes will always be miles apart from the simple pedicabs and karitons…but even if such conditions prevail, these people in government - AT THE VERY LEAST- should have played their dirty cards closer to their even dirtier chests. This is like those alleged stories of the Marcos family holding lavish banquets with fountains flowing with expensive champagne while the rest of the nation struggled to keep food on the table. I’m guessing that a few months from now, the lucky recipients and their families would be posting tons of pictures on their private Facebook accounts – pictures of themselves fashionably strutting their stuff in private resorts and other expensive destinations while the poor Filipino taxpayer is perpetually neck-deep in debt.    

It’s all in a day’s work in Senate. You don’t reach that coveted spot for nothing. Clearly, these people know what they’re doing and they’re damn good at it. Clap clap clap.

P.S. When you go out and vote this coming election, be SMART. Stupidity is strictly prohibited. 

1% Inspiration, 99% Courage..

..when I was in grade 7, I was very poor in English. I remember being called by a teacher and she laughed when I said something which was grammatically incorrect. I felt the horror of humiliation and the thought of spending the rest of my miserable life in the school I never thought of as my second home...but I took that as a challenge. I told myself f*ck subject-verb agreements --I'll learn in my own way. So I started to read pocketbooks until my eyes begged for sleep. I watched English based movies and shows on TV. Imagine watching Batibot and forcing yourself to switch channels and look for Sesame Street instead. Brenda Walsh wasn't my favorite character in Beverly Hills 90210 but I remember mimicking how she spoke. Thanks to Judith McNaught, the unknown authors of Colliers and Doogie Howser, I was able embrace the habit of reading and listening. More than 20 years after, I don't get laughed at or tremble when I speak the language. Yes, I do have occasional nosebleeds when I speak but not as much as I did before. Happy enough to say that the little girl who belittled herself would, in her college days, be asked to edit articles WRITTEN by the editor-in-chief for the college paper, got nominated in the college council twice, got invited to be an English/Speech trainer for call center agents though she's still an undergraduate, write articles on the net and even be asked to compose a speech for her already brilliant lawyer sister. I'm writing this down not because I want to be pompous. I am far from being all-wise. This is because I feel humbled at what I was able to do despite my fear. It's a small feat compared to others but conquering that part of my life changed how I perceived things. 

This is for a special friend who needs a little push. I didn't get it right the first, second or third time. There were countless moments when placing a paper bag over my head was the only thing I wanted to do...but then I realized, how the hell am I supposed to breathe if I do that? And so, I had to put so much effort in order to learn new things and RELEARN things that were already taught to me when I was younger. 

The thing with GOALS, it's always a few feet ahead of us. If we want it, we have to walk a little faster..and if needed, we have to RUN. Our dreams will not stop and wait for us..it will not walk backwards just so we can catch up.

YOU, my friend, have so much to offer. Don't listen to the world's b*llsh*t. Listen to your own voice and make IT happen. Remember that there is no point in dreaming if you won't be brave enough to take the first step. Damn it, life is too short. Do your best to be the greatest you can ever be while you still can.

aww..CHOWDER!

I was driving in Manila a while ago when I saw a Honda Jazz that was swerving all over the road. The driver was obviously showing off his driving skills and his flashy car. What really caught my attention was this huge sticker on the rear windshield which says: "GOOD BOYS DON'T WEAR DARK TINT" -- referring to the tint on car windows boys install to conceal their monkey business. So I took the liberty of driving a little faster just to get a glimpse of the annoying driver. Tag me as nasty but when I saw his face, it was like seeing Cartoon Network's CHOWDER come alive! I was all smiles by the time I overtook him and only had one thing on my mind --Dude, if ever you DO have a girlfriend with that face and arrogance, you SHOULD be a good boy. ;)

Triggerhappy

I haven’t been watching local news programs lately because I feel I don’t need added stress… but as I was trying to negotiate with my stomach and make it accept oatmeal instead of my usual rice and ulam, there it was, in bold black letters on the front page of Saturday’s paper – “My ninong shot me.”

It’s that topic you don’t really want to talk about. It’s that issue you wish you never had to think of -- People killing people.

I was very young when the country was rocked with the news of a family massacred in their home in Paranaque – women gagged, raped and then brutally murdered. I remember finding it hard to sleep at night for fear that strangers with knives would come into our house and rip out the life in our small and quiet family. Many summers have passed and I was able to push aside that gruesome thought in my head but I have to admit, I don’t sleep until I am so sure all the doors are locked and it has been second nature for me to jump out of bed whenever I hear the slightest noise in the wee hours of the morning. I sincerely wish I never have to feel the same kind of fear but here I am again, bombarded with unwanted worries of whether it really is safe out there.

The world poured out their condolences when a deranged gunman decided to open fire at children in a small school in Connecticut. I even posted a status message because I was so moved by the pain the parents must have felt. Being Filipino, I was thankful we don’t really have that kind of violence in our country because, as I grew up to believe, we are a fun-loving nation. Damn it, I was dead wrong. A few days after a single bullet claimed the life of a little girl, a few more from a .45 Calibre went flying and killed several people in a small community in Cavite. You would never expect that from Filipinos. It is 2013. You won’t expect an Asiong Salonga roaming the streets with a gun in his hand and fires at will.

School for my two boys will start again on Monday. I feel happy and blessed I got to spend time with them but I AM scared. I wonder if it’s safe for my kids to go out. I wonder if the school is safe. I suddenly feel uneasy knowing I’ll be giving other people the responsibility of taking care of my children when they are at school. Miguel even tried to ask permission to go out today but I gave him a big NO. All these worries suddenly rushed out of a well I thought would never open.

I have friends on Facebook who are gun owners. You people know who you are. I only have one request: RESPECT LIFE. In the martial law days, government placed big boxes along Recto Avenue for gun owners to simply surrender their guns – NO questions asked. My God, I won’t hesitate to push for that should government impose that rule again. I have never believed in guns as a means to protect life. It only has two purposes: to IMMOBILIZE or to ultimately KILL. It may be fun pulling the trigger but remember NOT to point the damned thing on people. If you think you are man enough to hold a gun, then be MAN enough to KEEP IT where it belongs.

My sincere condolences to the families who have lost their loved ones. You should be spending time with them right now. They should be facing 2013 with hope in their hearts. I hope their senseless deaths will not be buried and forgotten.

Headphones up..

What can I say? -- 2012 has been a roller coaster ride for Mansanas. I have been reflecting on how I survived the entire year through the songs I have listened to for 12 months. Sometimes, when you can’t express it in your own words, you just let the likes of Michael Buble, Pink, Rolling Stones and Maroon 5 say it for you..

I have aged but that doesn't really mean I have grown wiser. You see, when WE ARE YOUNG, we tend to think we’re MR. KNOW IT ALL. Being in your mid-30’s, you seem to grab this certain attitude to RAISE YOUR GLASS regardless if you have been a LITTLE BAD GIRL or in other words -- a little UNWELL. Your young age justifies your idea of yourself as THE MAN WHO CAN’T BE MOVED. You have certain tendencies to JUST SAY YES because you think “hey, I’ll only live once so VIVA LA VIDA!” 

In the case of Apple Jolo, she has always felt she’s been LOCKED OUT OF HEAVEN for too long. There have been countless times when she felt like building STARSHIPS and buy herself a ticket TO THE MOON AND BACK. In the craziest moments when she felt her EVERY TEARDROP IS A WATERFALL, she would tell herself to RUNAWAY BABY! And if someone told her to “CALL ME, MAYBE?” – she would definitely say there is not a single PAYPHONE at the place where she is going. 

That was Apple before. This is me now. FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE, I told myself to get up and KICK ASS. Instead of burying myself alive, I will stand up and build my own SKYSCRAPER. Yes, IT WILL RAIN, but IT’S MY LIFE. It is up to me whether I light up my sky or totally PAINT IT BLACK. In my mind, I will say to the people who have caused me pain to BLOW ME ONE LAST KISS ‘cause someday, they will remember me as THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY.

See, I have grown to understand that you can never ask respect from people if you can’t even give it yourself. Ounces of pride and self-respect made Apple let go of that desperate dream that SHE WILL BE LOVED. I realized that there is no need for the word ‘will’ anymore. I am already loved by two wonderful boys in my life -- I was just too blind to see. I am LUCKY to have Miguel and Joaquin by my side. They have loved their Mama UNDERNEATH IT ALL. This is the PART OF ME nobody but the Lord can take away. 

The lessons taught to me this year will always be TATTOOED ON MY MIND. If I failed once, SO WHAT? I will UNBREAK MY HEART and LIVE TO TELL. When I look back, I just smile and thank God I came out alive. I may never have it all but I still believe I will be ROLLING IN THE DEEP one sweet day. 

So to the Universe, let this message be clear: I WILL SURVIVE because I was BORN THIS WAY. I shall end 2012 shaking my booty GANGNAM STYLE because I am brave… I’m SEXY AND I KNOW IT. ;)

Happy New Year to all of you! ;)

Blinding beliefs

Our civilization has grown so much that we have come to the point where we think we know better than our Almighty Father. We foolishly set this countdown to apocalypse based on predictions by human beings like us -- imperfect and unwise.

My mother used to tell me that when I was just a baby, she almost lost me. She told me I couldn't breathe and I had turned violet in her arms. Because of shock, my grandmother who had just suffered a stroke and was partially paralyzed was the one who took me to the hospital. By the time someone examined me, I was clinically dead. Through great faith and God's love, both women in my life prayed and I started to breathe again. Science will never be able to explain that.

I am not a devout Catholic. I hardly go to mass because I want my conversations with God to be 'direct'... but I know I am a miracle. Regardless of what science tells me, only God knows when life starts and when life ends. I do not listen to people telling me the worst will happen. I only listen to God's voice in my heart.

As I've said before, should life cease to exist, why be afraid? The day we meet our end is the day we start eternal happiness with our Creator.

-- It's Christmas, people. It is not fair to spread pandemonium. It is unjust for everyone, especially our children. Don't upset this season because of your fears and doubts.

Live your life the way you are supposed to. Focus your attention on the people in your life. Love them NOW. If you are blessed enough, try to pay it forward for it to have great significance. Ask for forgiveness every chance you get and put all your trust in God -- and GOD ALONE. Only He knows.

Memories of Christmas

When I was a kid, my friends and I used to knock on gates in our village every night during Christmas and sing our hearts out. i remember looking for small cans, rubber bands and a small piece of plastic just so I can make a small musical instrument. Singing to the beat of our makeshift drums and maracas made of flattened bottle caps, I could only sing a few words -- "Pasko na naman, O kay tulin ng araw..Paskong nagdaan lalala lalalala!..."

The lanterns hung on every house back then seemed so big and colorful. It gave us all excited feelings whenever someone came out and gave us money. Every night, if we were lucky enough, each of us got a least P1.75. I remember feeling so rich having that MUCH money in my pocket. I would march to Aling Lorna's tindahan and buy candies which only cost .25 cents at the time. While the older kids were busy making pa-cute, little me and my friends laughed our bladders out while singing... and running if the dogs barked!

I wish my kids could experience what I was able to do when I was their age. It's not much but the beautiful memory stays with you. Like the Harana, ang karoling sa Pilipinas ay isang tradisyon na napaka-ganda at masarap sa pakiramdam -- lalo na kapag mga bata ang kumakanta.

We really have to thank the Lord for giving us this one month every year to be simply happy and blessed no matter how easy or tough life can be.

Again and again, I wish all of you a Merry Christmas! Sa Filipino, MALIGAYANG PASKO! God bless you all. :)