Triggerhappy

I haven’t been watching local news programs lately because I feel I don’t need added stress… but as I was trying to negotiate with my stomach and make it accept oatmeal instead of my usual rice and ulam, there it was, in bold black letters on the front page of Saturday’s paper – “My ninong shot me.”

It’s that topic you don’t really want to talk about. It’s that issue you wish you never had to think of -- People killing people.

I was very young when the country was rocked with the news of a family massacred in their home in Paranaque – women gagged, raped and then brutally murdered. I remember finding it hard to sleep at night for fear that strangers with knives would come into our house and rip out the life in our small and quiet family. Many summers have passed and I was able to push aside that gruesome thought in my head but I have to admit, I don’t sleep until I am so sure all the doors are locked and it has been second nature for me to jump out of bed whenever I hear the slightest noise in the wee hours of the morning. I sincerely wish I never have to feel the same kind of fear but here I am again, bombarded with unwanted worries of whether it really is safe out there.

The world poured out their condolences when a deranged gunman decided to open fire at children in a small school in Connecticut. I even posted a status message because I was so moved by the pain the parents must have felt. Being Filipino, I was thankful we don’t really have that kind of violence in our country because, as I grew up to believe, we are a fun-loving nation. Damn it, I was dead wrong. A few days after a single bullet claimed the life of a little girl, a few more from a .45 Calibre went flying and killed several people in a small community in Cavite. You would never expect that from Filipinos. It is 2013. You won’t expect an Asiong Salonga roaming the streets with a gun in his hand and fires at will.

School for my two boys will start again on Monday. I feel happy and blessed I got to spend time with them but I AM scared. I wonder if it’s safe for my kids to go out. I wonder if the school is safe. I suddenly feel uneasy knowing I’ll be giving other people the responsibility of taking care of my children when they are at school. Miguel even tried to ask permission to go out today but I gave him a big NO. All these worries suddenly rushed out of a well I thought would never open.

I have friends on Facebook who are gun owners. You people know who you are. I only have one request: RESPECT LIFE. In the martial law days, government placed big boxes along Recto Avenue for gun owners to simply surrender their guns – NO questions asked. My God, I won’t hesitate to push for that should government impose that rule again. I have never believed in guns as a means to protect life. It only has two purposes: to IMMOBILIZE or to ultimately KILL. It may be fun pulling the trigger but remember NOT to point the damned thing on people. If you think you are man enough to hold a gun, then be MAN enough to KEEP IT where it belongs.

My sincere condolences to the families who have lost their loved ones. You should be spending time with them right now. They should be facing 2013 with hope in their hearts. I hope their senseless deaths will not be buried and forgotten.