Headphones up..

What can I say? -- 2012 has been a roller coaster ride for Mansanas. I have been reflecting on how I survived the entire year through the songs I have listened to for 12 months. Sometimes, when you can’t express it in your own words, you just let the likes of Michael Buble, Pink, Rolling Stones and Maroon 5 say it for you..

I have aged but that doesn't really mean I have grown wiser. You see, when WE ARE YOUNG, we tend to think we’re MR. KNOW IT ALL. Being in your mid-30’s, you seem to grab this certain attitude to RAISE YOUR GLASS regardless if you have been a LITTLE BAD GIRL or in other words -- a little UNWELL. Your young age justifies your idea of yourself as THE MAN WHO CAN’T BE MOVED. You have certain tendencies to JUST SAY YES because you think “hey, I’ll only live once so VIVA LA VIDA!” 

In the case of Apple Jolo, she has always felt she’s been LOCKED OUT OF HEAVEN for too long. There have been countless times when she felt like building STARSHIPS and buy herself a ticket TO THE MOON AND BACK. In the craziest moments when she felt her EVERY TEARDROP IS A WATERFALL, she would tell herself to RUNAWAY BABY! And if someone told her to “CALL ME, MAYBE?” – she would definitely say there is not a single PAYPHONE at the place where she is going. 

That was Apple before. This is me now. FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE, I told myself to get up and KICK ASS. Instead of burying myself alive, I will stand up and build my own SKYSCRAPER. Yes, IT WILL RAIN, but IT’S MY LIFE. It is up to me whether I light up my sky or totally PAINT IT BLACK. In my mind, I will say to the people who have caused me pain to BLOW ME ONE LAST KISS ‘cause someday, they will remember me as THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY.

See, I have grown to understand that you can never ask respect from people if you can’t even give it yourself. Ounces of pride and self-respect made Apple let go of that desperate dream that SHE WILL BE LOVED. I realized that there is no need for the word ‘will’ anymore. I am already loved by two wonderful boys in my life -- I was just too blind to see. I am LUCKY to have Miguel and Joaquin by my side. They have loved their Mama UNDERNEATH IT ALL. This is the PART OF ME nobody but the Lord can take away. 

The lessons taught to me this year will always be TATTOOED ON MY MIND. If I failed once, SO WHAT? I will UNBREAK MY HEART and LIVE TO TELL. When I look back, I just smile and thank God I came out alive. I may never have it all but I still believe I will be ROLLING IN THE DEEP one sweet day. 

So to the Universe, let this message be clear: I WILL SURVIVE because I was BORN THIS WAY. I shall end 2012 shaking my booty GANGNAM STYLE because I am brave… I’m SEXY AND I KNOW IT. ;)

Happy New Year to all of you! ;)