Being TRUE

I just talked to a good friend who is somehow like me so I thought of sharing this...

Several years ago, at a time when I was trying so hard to recover from a soul-wrenching experience, I was invited to join
a bible study of some sort in Greenhills. My companion was a Chinese who told me it'll be good for me to strengthen my faith in God by spending time with other people who believe. Not wanting to be rude, I granted his request and attended one Sunday morning.

I can't describe the warmth of the people I met there. I was a complete stranger and felt so alienated but they made me feel like I'm a part of the family. They sang hymns of praise, jumped and clapped and rejoiced -- all in God's name. At one point, I wanted to cry but stubbornly held back the tears.

When I got home, I sat in my room and in complete silence, I prayed. I thanked Him for the experience and most of all, I APOLOGIZED. I told God that will be the first and the LAST time I will attend. I won't go back anymore.

I made that decision not because I was too proud. At that moment, I accepted that I lost a battle I tried so hard to fight -- I was down on my knees and with head on my hand, I accepted failure. I realized that it wasn't right for me to hide my pain by pretending to be happy in the company of other people. It wasn't right that I USE God to mask all the anger I felt in my heart. It wasn't right for me to give all of my burdens to God and let HIM do ALL the work for weak Apple.

I got up and told Him that if I ever find myself in that situation again someday, it'll be because I have recovered. I promised myself that my tears will have to stop. I swore to heal myself and prove to my Almighty Creator that despite everything I went through, I will stand up and live my life again. I told God that if I raise my hand and sing for Him, I want to make sure I am worthy.

It took me years to glue myself together again and here I am sharing to you a part of me I wish some of you will learn from. I may have rejected the idea of belonging to any religious group but by doing so, I learned to be stronger on my own and strengthened my relationship with the BOSS. I may not publicly show my faith but I know that my silent prayers and gentle whispers to God is equal to that of a whole crowd singing for Him.

Sometimes, you need to realize that you can't always ask Him to carry your cross. True healing will have to come from YOU. Don't mislead yourself by thinking you can feel happiness through support groups. Don't twist the word of God by thinking He alone will heal you. Remember that God gave us feet because He wants us to stand on our own. You have to that for yourself before you can stand in front of Him and sing praises.

If you have been hurt, teach yourself to let it go. There is wonderful freedom when you learn to forgive.

You will be the ONLY one who will free yourself from bondage and open your world to what is beautiful in life