To the Caped Crusader from Robin

I looked at you and I didnt have to hear your voice to know what you wanted to say. Those gentle brown eyes pierced its way through my heart and into my soul..whispering words only you and I can understand.

As I remember how beautiful you looked when I saw you again, I cant help but smile at how you looked back at me with your cheek slightly tilted and that wonderful dimple peeping as you tried hard to keep a straight face. You can't hide though..I know how that pretty boy face wanted to break out into a breathtaking smile...and you did -- and it was all I needed to bring life back into my dark world.

For years, I made myself believe God has forsaken me..I carried a cross too heavy for me to handle and existed in a world I deemed hostile. In my mind, happiness was just a feeling too remote for me to experience. I filled my heart with pain and so much anger that I forgot how it felt to live, love and appreciate life. I smiled but it was never from the heart; I laughed but inside, I was breaking apart. Like a hermit hiding inside its shell, I purposely surrounded myself with a thick wall nobody can break through. 

Life has its way of stopping me dead on my tracks though -- it happened when I met you...AGAIN.

If I were to write my life story, you'd be one of the lead characters. I tagged you in my teenage diaries as "the ONE who got away" ...You were the boy who smiled his way through my young heart and for the first time, I felt how it was to fall in love.

Some people think the beauty of first loves are just illusions we create in our minds. The world will always dictate that when you're young, the idea of loving someone is too shallow and the feeling shall pass as fast as it came.  But no -- NOT you. You made sure you carved your initials on that tiny space in my heart...and I carried that with me through the years. I went on my way and so did you.. but whenever your name came up, I still found myself smiling and looking back. 

So the years rolled by -- with me either battling in life's arena or slumped in one corner fighting to catch my breath for the next round. I found myself entangled in a system of webs I spun for myself and ended up regretting the decisions I made. Then, after more than a decade, you came along...with that single "psstt.." that felt as if someone just pushed that panic button and all alarms went off inside my head. I thought life was pulling my leg again but you made me understand you didn't come back just to play. 

I once posted a picture of an old couple who recently got married. I remember saying we spend years finding the greatest love of our life -- I was actually thinking of you. Until now, I remain puzzled. You didn't force your way through me.. you didn't come like a teenaged boy with sweet yet empty words. You were just simple YOU...the boy who grew up to be a man...the MAN who reads me like an open book and treats me like a hard to find novel -- too precious in your mind to ever let go. 

Life can beat you up, make you fall on your knees and beg. It can pose as your greatest foe but in the end, you'll find that for every tear you've shed and every wound you inflicted on yourself, life will always turn out to be your greatest ally -- and give you a reward for all the hardships you put up with. For me, that reward is YOU.  

You found me in the midst of turmoil and despair. You held my hand and gave me peace. You tamed the angry person inside me and made me see the beauty of life that I once erased from my mind. You understand my pain, you teach me how to deal with it and help me put back the pieces of my broken soul. 

So if I were to be asked if I can let you go -- I'd ask the world back to make me do things that are possible, not the ones I can't anymore.  I lost you once and I won't lose you again. 

This one is for you, my golden boy. --Mansanas21